A week of being in la Belle France, and I’ve already managed to sum up in three succinct words exactly where it is the French repeatedly go wrong. Firstly, driving on the right is unnatural, not to mention confusing, and as a result every time I cross a road I automatically place myself into situations of mild peril. My mum’s answer? ‘Well I shouldn’t turn left out of here, but I’m going to do it anyway’. A plausible, if somewhat dangerous solution, which, after following this maternal wisdom, has so far led to two ‘accidentally’ free bus journeys and several plees of ‘je ne comprends pas, je suis anglaise’...Always a classic line if in doubt, and one which the teachers at my schools absolutely loved when used it with reference to a lonely Martinique man at the bus stop offering me his number so that I could go back to his flat and ‘manger un peu de gateau’. Still wondering whether that was a euphemism.
Secondly, computer keyboards. What is the logic in having to press shift for numbers; some of the most commonly used keys, when the pointless symbols such as ^ (which I can only assume is some form of French beret emoticon) are readily available! I was actually laughed at in the library when trying to type an answer to a facebook message as it definitely appeared as though I’d never seen a computer before. And milk? Well, that needs no explanation. Yes, UHT is long life. But frankly I think I’d rather take my chances with a day out of date pint of Asda semi-skimmed.
Aside from that, my first week in Le Havre has, all-in-all, been good. Of course, there have been ups and downs, a particular down being the faces of my eleven year old boy students when I announced during a class interview session that I didn’t play video games or have a pet snake in my house. The assistant training on Monday in Rouen proved semi-useful, although the staff insisted on welcoming us in all fifteen languages. The atmosphere created was thus not unlike a Eurovision song contest; with less dodgy jokes and sequins yet equally long-winded. One thing which struck me was the (very French) attention to detail. Each and every nationality representative who spoke at the front of the lecture theatre had their own cardboard desk label, which resulted in fifteen lots of faffing around to find and construct the appropriate name, something which to my mind was both incredibly farcical and largely pointless as only the front few rows had the privilege of even attempting to read said labels. This, coupled with a ridiculously friendly Mexican on my left (who could described to some of you as a Mexican Chris Harper- no offence Chris ;)) consistently trying to exchange looks of camaraderie did not do an awful lot to make my morning enjoyable. However, the afternoon was a lot more useful, and the free lunch and opportunity to actually find some friends made for a largely worthwhile day out.
My schools are very different in terms of area and capability of the students, yet both are full of lovely, welcoming staff, who are thankfully patient with my often slow-moving French and frequent errors. I’ve had lunch with them in the canteens, and even managed to hold conversations for more than five minutes, something which I never thought I was capable of (in a foreign language anyway). Their encouragement that I ‘parle très bien’ has boosted my confidence no end, meaning I am no longer scared of making mistakes, definite progress I think. I was worried my personality wouldn’t show through in a foreign language, but my tutor Céline has already started to form the French equivalent of ‘banter’ (le banterrrrrr possibly?!) with me regarding the amount of time I spend on the phone and internet and how often I’m out when she rings me, so probably nothing to concern myself with on that front. For the next two weeks, I will simply be observing lessons, learning how the system works before I then begin teaching the little darlings what it means to Be Oh So British, Yah, which currently for them seems to be the odd ‘allo’ in the corridor and an intense love of Britain’s Got Talent. Sounds about right.
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