Guess what folks…je suis BACK ! Yes, my French has suffered somewhat over the holidays; no doubt replaced by the excitement of home and FOOD, not to mention extreme concentration during several intense matches of Hungry Hungry Hippos (no family Christmas is complete without it). Regardless of the inevitable ‘let’s forget I live in France’ attitude, I had a wonderful, hectic two weeks spending much-needed quality time with both family and friends. I found a house in Southampton for next year, went on a Duck Tour in London (a tour bus which halfway through becomes a boat and launches you into the Thames!) and came to the astounding conclusion that Dancing on Ice will never be for me after a particularly painful coccyx injury caused ice skating in Winchester.
Mais bon, after an eight hour, gale force seven ferry journey which I’d rather not dwell on (safe to say if my friend hadn’t been upgraded to a four-bed cabin I would have ‘chundered everywahhhh’), here I am once again, ready and raring to tackle the next four months, although I had definitely forgotten how strange it is to be ‘that foreigner on the phone’ when talking in English on the bus!
This week has been mostly spent teaching my students about New Year, specifically New Year’s Resolutions. I have already received some brilliant responses; the highlight of which was a greasy fifteen year old’s stuttered proclamation of ‘I will find a girlfriend’. Bless. Saying that, the atmosphere of both schools is distinctly more sexually-charged after the holidays, leading me to wonder what exactly French parents feed their adolescents at Christmas. In three days, I’ve encountered roughly five ‘couples’ smooching by the gates and no-one in the staffroom seems to bat an eyelid, their attitude being general recognition and even acceptance! Contrary to my previous misconceptions, the majority of teachers are incredibly relaxed, and it really is amazing what students can get away with in class. When asking a class I’d not met before about their hobbies, I actually reverted to open-mouthed shock at one boy’s casual comment ‘j’aime baiser’ (another boy ‘kindly’ decided to clarify the meaning of this to me, shouting ‘faire l’amour, faire l’amour!’ or for the English, ‘making love, making love!’). Now, in England, this would be immediate detention, or even dismissal from the lesson. But no, in France it simply merited a small disapproving glance and slight smile of sympathy in my direction. To top it off, said child later decided to approach me at the end of the class and ask for my address so we could, and I quote, ‘chat a little’! Looks like someone had too large a helping of testosterone pie....
On a lighter note, my social life has started well this term. After the resounding success of my pre-Christmas dinner invitation (I knew the mince pies would work), I have since been asked to attend not only a follow-up soirée with a different teacher but also a Saturday luncheon at the school nurse’s house; a woman whom, incidentally, I have never met! However, she has some form of Colombian connection to my flatmate, and invited me along- who am I to resist a free meal?! Besides, now that they know about my recent Woman’s Weekly story (now on sale in the January Fiction Special), all the teachers are lovin’ my new status as a ‘published author’, and I can’t really blame them for wanting to mingle with the stars now can I....
As of last night, things are even looking up for my resolution to find French friends! After chatting for a while with some students of Le Havre University at the weekly Language Café I attend, I managed to wangle myself an invite to a REAL French party with REAL French people of, and this is the key part, my OWN AGE! Don’t get me wrong though, that does not mean I’ve become too high and mighty for the over-forties polka evening at McDaid’s Irish pub (yes, that is really happening).
All these upcoming social events mean my conversational ability is likely to be tested to the absolute max. Lucky I stumbled upon this then isn’t it...
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