More bus antics for you this week. Amazing how much mockery can be made of the French public transport system....just you wait til I move onto the 40 cent funicular railway. Anyway. I know I’ve mentioned it before, but this ‘being bezzie mates with the bus driver’ craze really is becoming more and more of a regular occurrence. I would now say that at some point during nine journeys out of ten, there will be at least one over-friendly Frenchy leaning into the driver’s area (no euphemism intended) and engrossed in persistent chat. As John Cleese would say; ‘enough of this gay banter’ (‘Vocational Guidance Councillor’ sketch, see below).
In almost four months, I’ve heard the most bizarre of exchanges, from a primary school child’s detailed account of his day at school (no, the driver wasn’t his dad) to a dead-pan serious man solemnly discussing, or rather lecturing on, the various flavours and re-brands of Coca-Cola through the ages....I think I hear Mastermind calling. A few weeks ago, I also saw one eager woman up the front proudly whip out a selection of photos from her oversized Tote bag, which appeared from a distance to be her holiday snaps. At any rate, there was definitely sand and sun involved, neither of which, may I add, are typical Le Havre features. Beaches...bikinis...safe to say the male driver’s eyes were anywhere BUT the road, leaving me and my fellow passengers to simply cross our fingers and fervently hope that this woman was not a topless sunbather. As if that wasn’t enough, when getting on the bus, many of ‘these’ people even do the ‘bises’ (the standard French kissing on each cheek), which leads me to two possible conclusions. One: ‘Havrais’ bus drivers are incredibly popular, or two: the French are insane. Answers on a postcard.
Perhaps I don’t get out enough (or arguably I get out too much!), but for me foreign public transport is a never-ending source of entertainment. I realised on the bus yesterday for instance how long it had been since I last saw a man in a suit. Small pleasures, possibly, but Le Havre in general is definitely more of a ‘dress down’ city. Of course, this is great for me, for as is well known, students love the odd ‘slob day’; any excuse to don the University-inscribed trackies and society hoody with self-thought witty slogan scrawled across it (or in my case, French society: ‘get an Eiffel of my tower’), and slouch down to the corner shop for a Fanta and a packet of post-revision Hob-Nobs. So here in the big LH (abbreviations are cool), we’re in our element. But formal attire...now THAT is rare, possibly even frowned upon, particularly on the buses. The man in question received many sniffing mate-stop-trying-to-be-alternative –type glances from the other ‘voyageurs’ as he stood nervously clutching his shiny leather briefcase. The sort of looks in fact, which some of us (me) would potentially direct at a wannabe ‘Urban Outfitters’-style teen here in England as she brushed down her Oh So Vintage patterned jumper and swung her deliberately-distressed military boots up onto the seat opposite. Sigh.
However, it seems the drivers are beginning to tire of this continuous stream of new ‘friend’s (cue InBetweeners quote). As I’ve no doubt previously told you, Le Havre is currently under construction. The eagerly-anticipated 395 million euro tramway is due to open in December 2012, and according to its enthusiastic website will apparently be ‘ideal for going to work, shopping, leisure, or a simple family outing’. Yet what it fails to document, and what I like to think of as inevitable small print, is the fact that each driver will be in a completely separate compartment to the public, thereby killing two proverbial birds with one (very expensive- potentially a diamond?) stone.
But for now, my tip of the day is this. If you’re ever bored (or lonely) in a foreign country, just hop on a bus. You won’t regret it, and who knows, you might even end the journey with a new best bud.
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